Bedtime Prayer

At special cuddle, I decided to say our prayer tonight. Cute enough - when I finished Noah added "Oh and by the way God, I just want to thank you for my stick yesterday. It really helped my belly get better. We left it so hopefully you can help another little boy like me. Thank you again."

For the whole story, click on link.

A Special Saying...

Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world when He can do something about it......
But I'm afraid God might ask me the same question.
~ Anonymous

A New Earth - Chapter 4

I can't really say which chapter is my favourite so far. Definitely not chapter 1 - but between chapters 2, 3 & 4 - they are all excellent. After reading chapter 4 (for those of you who are parents) I now parent differently. Parenting in the present moment - has come very naturally. It's not always easy - but very rewarding. To witness Noah 'coming back to the present moment' is incredible.

#1 Question posed on Oprah's discussion boards: How do you relate to people who are not on this same path as you?

Answers:

• Do not expect other people to change just because you are changing
• Allow other people to be where they are
• Do not demand a change in others
• The most powerful way to bring about change in others is to ACCEPT them as they are (complete acceptance)
• This shift is stepping out of your judgemental mind
• No longer resist their old patters & stop reacting to their patters (ie. this is 'playing their games')
• Part of your change is your willingness NOT to judge, be an observer in your own life & witness the ego in others as you see it in yourself
• Don't mistake their ego for who they are - because this will strengthen your ego
• Your old ego wants people to believe what you believe - but this book is NOT a new belief it's an awareness
  

My favourite quotes & parts of this chapter's 'webinar' (in point form):

• The readienss is not there for everyone
• Pg. 104 Human alone is never enough, no matter how hard you try.
• Take attention away from the mind and put it to the present
• You will feel more light & free (less stressed) when you stay present (and I can attest to this)
• If you need to plan something in the future - do this as a concentrated event/experience (ex. 'right now, I am planning the activity for next week')
• Nothing is more important than the NOW - for an athlete the term for being present is being in 'the zone'
• Don't identify yourself with your ROLE (ex. as mother). Being a mother is a function - fulfill the function, but do not identify yourself with your role/function. When you become too identified with function, it becomes a role (ex. when a child grows up & you still behave as though they were small and sometimes your actions are no longer appropriate - because you're stuck in that role)
• Guilt in mothers - recognize the egoic mind structure. At first the awareness doesn't flow to all areas of your life. THEN you realize there is a time gap between the old behaviour & your awareness. THEN you realize that the gap gets shorter between the old behaviour & awareness. THEN you realize just before you slip into your old behaviour that you become aware.
  
• What is a Role? (role vs. job function) - when you adjust the way you interact based on who you are talking to - you are role playing (ex. how do you talk to the janitor versus your boss)
• Observe in yourself using your awareness.
• Bring in 'small spaces' in your daily life - to deal with role playing or old conditioned behaviour - and gradually you will see more presence in your life
• When it comes to suffering or challenges in your life, do what you can to help but don't go into anguish yourself.
• How to stay in the present moment when a child is freaking out? How to raise more conscious children.
• Pay more attention to YOUR inner state than to what is happen in your child (it's likely that you feel anxiety but YOU do this to yourself). It's a viscious circle - we think that our children cause us anxiety when it is ultimately US causing ourselves these feelings. ONLY YOU can cause your own feelings. Stay conscious - and realize that if YOU get in this 'nervous energy field' or anxious feelings, this will provoke further 'so called' bad behaviour in your child.
• Children ABSORB that nervous energy, more than even your language (this IS their language)
• Your first interest NEEDS to be 'what is my inner state'.
  
• Accept the moment for what it is.
• Be there as the SPACE for what ever you child does
• Don't have a REACTIVE barrier
• Allow your calmness to calm the child down (can be used in any reactive state in your life, with children, co workers, confrontation, etc)
• Make this your spiritual practice (alot easier said than done, but practicing will help) - stay calm.
  

Easter 2008 - Give thanks.

Our Easter Dinner was spent with Luc & Denise. We started by playing Tri-Bond - yippy. Then enjoyed ANOTHER beautiful meal - ham, mashed potatoes, peas, salad - YUMMY! Of course, Noah is the creator of a new tradition! 'Crackers' (like the Christmas crackers you get) for Easter. We all have fun 1. wearing the crowns (well most of us do), 2. getting a little prize & 3. reading the little jokes. What a fantastic meal - even Mimi got to enjoy some of the ham bone! She went to town for over one hour STRAIGHT!!! Just wanted to point out how thankful we are for our family in town, our invite for dinner and the company of family! Oh, and did I mention how much we are going to miss them when we move - we will :(

Thanks again, Luc & Denise!

Signs...

...are everywhere. But some signs are just too obvious, they speak to you, they just hit you in the face and you must follow the flow. I can't believe this is really happening to me....a dream that is beginning to take shape. And all of this has just 'happened' - it's MY sign!

Here's how it all began (and the reason I believe it to be a sign):

Apr 07 - Idol Gives Back

Sandra (a co-worker & a terrific friend of mine) and I share tears & sorrow while discussing the heart wrenching show. We both share our thoughts of devastation as well as our dreams to (one day) go to Africa & work in an orphanage. A mere pipe dream....right?

The next few weeks, we talk alot about our dream about how cool it would be to take such a trip. Sandra tells me a about a co-worker of Serge's (her spouse) who goes to Africa every year to do just this. We agree that we should talk to this woman about how to 'go about' or plan such an adventure (but never do).

AND Sandra & Serge begin to sponsor a child.

May 2007 - Our Adoption Process begins

Jacques & I begin our adoption process and I begin watching Adoption Stories. Every episode I see of an adoption from Guatemala or Columbia - I fall deeper and deeper in love with those BIG BROWN eyes (I even watch repeats of these specific episodes). Something begins to pull my attention to Guatemala - but I have NO idea at this point WHAT it is?

Jan 2008 - Found an "Angel"

My friend (Leslie) listed a link to a specific blog entry on The Voice of Adventure blog - called "My Story". A truly inspirational story. The more I read 'The Voice of Adventure' the more clear this dream of mine has become. Angel - the author of this blog is truly an ANGEL (I swear)!! Her blog explains her family story. Angel & her husband (Russ) have a 9 year old daughter (adopted from Guatemala), a 4 year old daughter (from her belly) and a 1.5 year old daughter (adopted from China - but not yet home to stay). As I continue to follow her blog, I feel this dream becoming a reality. To think, I have never met this woman yet I think of her story often and am thankful she has entered my life.

Feb 2008 - conversation with Jacques

Jacques & I had a conversation a few weeks ago, we began talking about 'dream' vacations (something we have never done together because we spend most of our vacation time going to visit family that is out of town or province - which we love). Jacques dream - down south, sitting on a beach, having drinks in the day on the beach, relaxing, having a few cigars, etc. My dream - going to work on an orphanage in a less fortunate country - loving the children, working hard to help out in any way I can - but basically brightening their lives with hope for their future.

Mar 2008 - conversation with Sandra about making our dreams a reality

A few weeks ago (at work), we began discussing our dream again. This time was different. This time, she confessed that although she felt good about sponsoring a child in Africa she wanted something more, something tangible, something good she could witness with her own eyes. This time we set a date - in 2009 we are going to take a trip of our lives and make our dreams come true - no matter what!

As we spoke, I mentioned Angel's story again and introduced Guatemala as a possible country to visit. We both agree that we would begin to research & plan the trip of all trips. My first thought was to visit Angel's blog (which I visit maybe every 2-3 weeks), contact this amazing woman to get some information. That fateful night I went to her weblog and to my surprise this was the title of the most recent entry "Mission Trips" (click to view). As I began to read, I couldn't believe my eyes, this was MY sign (I couldn't miss it this time - it was hitting me in the face). It was an entry written specifically for Angel's blogger friend with information about the mission trips she takes (including the link to Eagle's Nest ). Eagle's Nest is an orphanage in Guatemala that she has already done a mission trip to. PLUS, she invited her blogger friends on a trip she is planning in Mar, Apr or May of 2009. I almost fell off my chair as I read this entry.... Of course, I did respond to advise that I am most interested in going with the group she plans. I will wait for more information but in the meantime, I have also contact Eagle's Nest directly.

I have SO many questions: What exactly do you do on a trip? Can Canadians join in on trips and what are the costs associated with the trip? Can your children join in? How long are the trips?
Should you have some basic knowledge of the Spanish language or can you make it through with no experience? Can we bring items needed for the children? Where are the other groups coming from (US, Canada, etc).

I am in shock. I am BEYOND excited and have now witnessed God in action. Now if this is NOT a sign, I don't know what is. In my life, rarely have I ever felt such a strong calling to do something so important...I can't even describe the feeling. Although I don't hold all the answers, I do know this: THIS is my dream in the making and I feel ALIVE, REJOUVINATE & FRIGIN' EXCITED. As I continue to research Guatemala, Eagle's Nest & continue to save for my trip - I am surrendering. I am letting it happen. I am going to let it unfold before my eyes. Just as things have fallen in place so far, I will continue to pray for my dream and put my faith in God.

I will continue to create entries as I learn more....about Guatemala, mission trips, Eagle's Nest and most importantly - the progress of my dream in the making! If you have any information, please feel free to send the links, email me or let me know!

A New Earth - Chapter 3

So far - this is my best chapter yet. My biggest A-HA moment came when they spoke of the reasons people overeat - WOW. What I got from the class Monday night on Chapter 3:

• Who are you? Many people may answer mother, father, doctor, etc but it is much deeper than this and there is no conceptual answer to this question.
• Ego = thinking
• What you react to in another, you strengthen in yourself
• when you react to something that someone else does, realize that this is something you have to look at in yourself
  
• Ego is identifying with thought
• Once you label something, you desensitize yourself with that person or thing
• Complaining is one of the ego's favourite ways of strengthening itself
• The ego is the identifying with the negative thoughts
  
• Become aware of that complaining voice in your head
• Egoic complaining is when no change is to take place by the complaint, when there is no purpose to the complaint, when they are resenting complaints
• When ego tries to make someone wrong, the complaint is personalized
  
• Rather than complaining - state the facts
• When you complain - there are hard feelings, hurt feelings. The hurt feelings come from the ego - accept and recognize the hurt feelings
• No grievance has justification
• When you call someone a name - instead of sensing the aliveness of another human being - you've labelled them
• ex. when we label ourselves as 'good people' - we identify THAT as who we are. Then when someone says you're 'no good' (or calls you names or criticizes you), many people get angry or the ego wants to defend itself - then the ego will go into self-repair mode - and get angry back.
• Get in touch with your deeper level that does not get hurt
• When you feel hurt - often it turns into anger
• Ask yourself - what grievances to we carry? Remember - no grievance has justification through grievances the ego stays alive.
  
• Worrying is mental noise, get out of the mind and into the presence - you can only help yourself
• Worry is unconscious mind movement into the future when the outcomes are negative - it pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose
• What ever you fight - you strengthen and what you resist, persists.
• Non-reaction - recognize when another human displays egoic behaviour and allow your ego to be there but not to react. Accept egoic behaviour within other people (ie. rudeness, etc), when you don't react you'll eventually see the other person's behaviour back down.
• The ego in other people is NOT who they really are, then the presence in you gets to relate to the presence in them - this is compassion.
• Your reaction is so automatic that when someone behaves unconsciously (ex. yelling at you), to react in the same way is very automatic (ex. yelling back at them)
• Peace or Drama? Peace is the new egoic mind and Drama is the old egoic mind
• Many people have an addiction to unhappiness (drama) - become aware of it and you can step out of this into the present moment (peace).
• Have a good relationship with the NOW? If you don't, you don't have a good relationship with life because life is NOW.
• The NOW is the exit out of the ego.
• OVEREATING - has alot to do with ego because the ego that lives in a constant state of NOT ENOUGH always seeks something else to fill it (like with food - but any addiction has to do with ego) .... A-HA
  
• Eat consciously - Stop resisting - once you make eat consciously and make a meditation of it, you won't eat 2 bags of chips unconsciously....you will begin to enjoy every single chip and in the enjoyment & pleasure - if you stop when it's no longer pleasurable - it's no longer pleasurable after 3, 4 or 5 - when you're conscious. But the time you eat the whole bag, you don't even taste them anymore.
  
• Make a meditation of it, BE WITH IT, FEEL IT, sense it - allow yourself and your whole body to be with it and when you're done with the pleasure of it LET IT GO...
• Sense your body - you don't become overweight (or even drunk) if you are acting CONSCIOUSLY.
• Obsessive indulgence happens when you are unconscious - addictions are unconscious.
• This book is NOT about believing - it's about what you come to know for yourself (feel for yourself). God, in the essence of all consciousness is NOT something to BELIEVE - God IS.
• God is a 'feeling' experience not a 'believing' experience.
• When you can fully accept that you don't know who you are - you are closer to who you are ...... A-HA
  
• Be in the form (the body) and sense the formlessness (your essential beingness) in the background of your life at all times
• YOU - are the awareness between your thoughts and the awareness of the thoughts

WOW - 2 A-HA moments for me - ANOTHER great chapter (between chapter 2 & 3 - I can't decide what is my favourite chapter so far! Another week, another pleasure!

Mar 16, 2008 - Time?

I am so thankful for the amount of time (considering our schedule this weekend) that I've had to get caught up on something of such importance to me (read below). My honey has completely taken over this weekend - took Noah to his 2 hockey games (in Cap Pele - 45 minutes away) & swimming lessons yesterday. Now this morning, Noah has been occupying himself very well with crafts, cartoons and computer time and once Jacques got up, he completely took over AGAIN this morning allowing me the time to finish up on the Chapter 2 online class. Now that I'm all caught up and ready for Monday night's class - I'm gonna go make my AMAZING boys the best big breakfast ever!!!

Last night - we went to Luc & Denise's for supper. They were trying yet another new recipe - and it was FABULOUS (as usual). Mike & Brenda were also there - us girls had a GREAT chat while the guys watched the game (well, Noah & Jacques slept!!!). Just want to point out how thankful we are to have them here in Moncton with us. They've helped out a great deal with so many things, especially watching Noah & Mimi for us.........I'm certainly going to miss them when we move!

So wonder what they are going to choose for breakfast - hmmmm....my guess, Noah will choose pancakes and Jacques will choose french toast!!! Yummy - I can taste it already!!!