Saddened

Today is a pretty sad day in our house. After several weeks of major struggles; Jacques, Noah & I have decided that Noah will dis-continue playing hockey for the season.

Since the beginning of the season, we noticed that Noah's heart was not in hockey the way it once was. This has left us completely baffled considering this is the complete opposite of what his first two seasons of hockey were like. He "lived, breathed and ate" hockey, he couldn't get enough. 7am practices, he would be up and starting to get ready before Jacques & I even got up. He was enthusiastic, passionate and LOVED the sport. NOW: to get him to a practice is a fight, he complains about anything that he thinks will get him off the ice (his legs hurt, his arm hurts, he's tired, he doesn't want to go, etc). At every game, he 'loafs' around the ice, complaining that he wants a different position (then he gave him a different position and it's still the same). He "says" he really wants to plays, but his actions are screaming otherwise. I can't help but wonder, what happened? Why the change in attitude? Is it the different level (from Initiation to Novice)? Is it the different area (Dieppe to Grand Falls, where this sport is VERY French and click'ish sport for this small town)? I can't help but feel disheartened for Noah and will continue to wonder 'why'?

NOW, the other dilemma (as parents) we have been trying to come to grips with is allowing him to 'quit' without finishing the season. We don't believe in quitting, but we have continually asked ourselves "at WHAT cost do you force your kids to fulfill a commitment or when do you rationalize that it's okay to call it quits?"

That was until last night's practice when the decision for him to quit became a black & white situation for me. I literally had to force Noah to go. After interrupting Jacques with his boss, for a little father-son hockey talk, Jacques & I decided to threaten taking away privileges for the night if he did not go to practice, thinking this would give him the push he needed (considering the WII is so much fun). He said he would go to practice because he didn't want to lose out on playing the WII. Once off the phone with Jacques, he resisted getting dressed, cried the whole time, complained and lashed out (out of frustration). He complained of sore legs (one week it's his legs, the next it's sore arms - but EVERY week there is an excuse). As he continued to go on, I went upstairs had a good cry and prayed. Once we got to practice, his complaints continued with the coaches and he lasted all of 15-20 minutes before he got off the ice.

As he got his gear off in the locker room, I was pretty quiet (internalizing what to do next). When he asked me what was wrong, I told him I was disappointed. He got defensive and began his 'lashing out' again. I remained fairly silent, realizing that I would only make matters worse if I responded to any of his words. This lasted for most of the drive home.

I realized that I DO NOT want to continue to push him to do something he is resisting so strongly. I do have one concern: Is there something more that I am missing as to why he is not enjoying hockey this year? By the time we got home, Noah was crying and was one sad little boy all because I was disappointed, not because he would not play hockey anymore. This broke my heart. This is NOT something that I want my son to feel. Once we both calmed down, we hugged, cried and I explained to him that if he did not want to play anymore then he did not have to.

All this said, I still wanted him to learn the lesson that you just can't 'quit'. Thankfully, my sister was home when I called for some sisterly advise and she gave a great idea. Though Noah will not continue the season, he will still be responsible to reimburse us for the remainder of the season that we already paid for. Of course, he had to think about this for a bit when Jacques and I told him this....but he cheerfully agreed. NOW let me make my intentions clear: we will take this money from his savings account but we will place it into a bond or another type of investment for him later in life. So, the lesson here is that he learns that you can't just quit and if you do, it comes with a price!

I spoke with the coach as well as the person in charge of the Novice division. Both were disappointed for Noah, but could understand. They suggested that we take a few weeks off and if Noah wants to come back at any point in the season, he is more than welcome. Both also asked if something had happened with any of the other players. And of course, the man in charge of Novice (and who I took direction from as Team Manager) was VERY disappointed that he was losing his Team Manager as well!! Thankfully, most of the work is done now (considering our Jamboree was just last weekend).

All in all, I feel comfortable with our decision for Noah yet still sad & confused about his change of heart.

SOME MEMORIES OF NOAH'S HOCKEY CAREER

Year One (2006-2007 Hockey Season)
1st Year Initiation

Year Two (2007-2008 Hockey Season)
2nd Year Initiation

Year Three (2008-2009 Hockey Season)
1st Year Novice