#1 Question posed on Oprah's discussion boards: How do you relate to people who are not on this same path as you?
Answers:
- Do not expect other people to change just because you are changing
- Allow other people to be where they are
- Do not demand a change in others
- The most powerful way to bring about change in others is to ACCEPT them as they are (complete acceptance)
- This shift is stepping out of your judgemental mind
- No longer resist their old patters & stop reacting to their patters (ie. this is 'playing their games')
- Part of your change is your willingness NOT to judge, be an observer in your own life & witness the ego in others as you see it in yourself
- Don't mistake their ego for who they are - because this will strengthen your ego
- Your old ego wants people to believe what you believe - but this book is NOT a new belief it's an awareness
My favourite quotes & parts of this chapter's 'webinar' (in point form):
- The readienss is not there for everyone
- Pg. 104 Human alone is never enough, no matter how hard you try.
- Take attention away from the mind and put it to the present
- You will feel more light & free (less stressed) when you stay present (and I can attest to this)
- If you need to plan something in the future - do this as a concentrated event/experience (ex. 'right now, I am planning the activity for next week')
- Nothing is more important than the NOW - for an athlete the term for being present is being in 'the zone'
- Don't identify yourself with your ROLE (ex. as mother). Being a mother is a function - fulfill the function, but do not identify yourself with your role/function. When you become too identified with function, it becomes a role (ex. when a child grows up & you still behave as though they were small and sometimes your actions are no longer appropriate - because you're stuck in that role)
- Guilt in mothers - recognize the egoic mind structure. At first the awareness doesn't flow to all areas of your life. THEN you realize there is a time gap between the old behaviour & your awareness. THEN you realize that the gap gets shorter between the old behaviour & awareness. THEN you realize just before you slip into your old behaviour that you become aware.
- What is a Role? (role vs. job function) - when you adjust the way you interact based on who you are talking to - you are role playing (ex. how do you talk to the janitor versus your boss)
- Observe in yourself using your awareness.
- Bring in 'small spaces' in your daily life - to deal with role playing or old conditioned behaviour - and gradually you will see more presence in your life
- When it comes to suffering or challenges in your life, do what you can to help but don't go into anguish yourself.
- How to stay in the present moment when a child is freaking out? How to raise more conscious children.
- Pay more attention to YOUR inner state than to what is happen in your child (it's likely that you feel anxiety but YOU do this to yourself). It's a viscious circle - we think that our children cause us anxiety when it is ultimately US causing ourselves these feelings. ONLY YOU can cause your own feelings. Stay conscious - and realize that if YOU get in this 'nervous energy field' or anxious feelings, this will provoke further 'so called' bad behaviour in your child.
- Children ABSORB that nervous energy, more than even your language (this IS their language)
- Your first interest NEEDS to be 'what is my inner state'.
- Accept the moment for what it is.
- Be there as the SPACE for what ever you child does
- Don't have a REACTIVE barrier
- Allow your calmness to calm the child down (can be used in any reactive state in your life, with children, co workers, confrontation, etc)
- Make this your spiritual practice (alot easier said than done, but practicing will help) - stay calm.
No comments:
Post a Comment