In the middle of the night, we got the call that we feared receiving. Joshua was not well and we had to get to the hospital immediately.When we got to the hospital, our poor Joshua was not doing well.
It was the day we had to say goodbye to our baby boy. A horrible day that is etched in my memory for my life. I relive those last moments (still) almost daily thinking of all the things I should have said or done, knowing that I did the best I knew how and accepting that I did what I was supposed to do (because when it comes down to it: there is no 'right or wrong').
Saying goodbye was the first step, then we had to inform our family & friends - such a hard time to call my dad's house, considering it was my little brother's birthday. Once that was done, we had to plan for Joshua's funeral....another very hard time.
All the hard things we had to go through, have contributed to mould us into the people and the couple we are today.....for THIIS, I am thankful. I have my little angle to thank for this.
It's been a long road (and continues to be a "road") from here until now, but we are here.
Just like what I declared in THIS POST, I said "I'm going to let the feelings flow and do what I did 7 years ago: put one foot in front of the the other and feel what I feel. I know it will pass." It DID. I'm okay. I have smiled. I have laughed. I have felt joy. I have felt sorrow.
Today is no different, I think about what happened 7 years ago today and I KNOW I (of course) feel sad, but I am okay.
Bye, bye baby Josh! Rest in Pease baby!
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